it's almost a week now since we've been apart.. [note: again. i know.. hopefully this time it's the last time.] it seemed like the longest for me.. ever.. but not that hard.. just quite long.. and i do mean loooooooooooong.. don't really know why..

i can't believe how i have handled this..

am i really that strong enough to carry this pain? to face all the hurt and hardships that come my way?

is this all just to test me if i'm ready for whatever comes my way?

is this really a blessing in disguise??

[song in mind: break me]
[feeling: confused]

Saturday, July 30, 2005 | 5:50 PM | 2 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

here i am again.. stronger than ever.. (i hope) healing again a broken heart.. looking back at all the memories.. also thinking how significant a ring could be.. just look at it.. hay..

i just remember something.. last sunday while at mass.. i kept looking at the little kids playing around.. running.. throwing stuff.. just having fun.. as if they have nothing to worry about.. and they are not bothered by whatever responsibilities they may have..

how i wish i was 5 years old again.. *sigh*

then i looked around.. not at the kids.. but at all the people old enough to understand what life really is about.. some are deep in thought.. some seem to be deeply bothered or troubled.. some are even sweet.. if i must say..

how i wish things would all be easier for us.. *sigh*

there are so many things i could wish for right now.. and if i find a genie in a bottle.. these would be my three wishes:

1. that my friends be always safe and whatever troubles them be gone.
2. that my family will always stay intact and that they be always of good health and full of love and happines.
3. that i may the strength to face each day even with a broken heart and find the one meant for me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 | 1:17 PM | 0 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

here i am again.. had my heart broken just again this morning.. didn't see it coming so soon.. but then maybe a part of me is glad it happened.. because it really is time to move on.. no turning back now.. just straight ahead.. for new things.. for things better than him.. for someone much more worthy than him..

i was blinded by love.. by my strong feelings for him.. by this belief we would last..

how stupid!

how crazy!

how lame!

but then it was something i thought then was worth fighting for..

i'm not regreting anything though.. i just wish it were sooner.. then atleast letting go would be alot easier..

and then it wouldn't be so painful.. *sob*

>help me Lord.. i don't want to love him anymore.. i don't want to feel this emptiness he has left in my heart, in my life.. i don't want to feel the depth of my loss.. help me also to forget.. give me the strength i need to face each day with a smile on my face even if i have any empty feeling in my heart.. give me also the strength and courage to let go and move on.. once and for all.. to leave everything in the past.. help me to remeber all the other reasons i have in this world to live for.. and lastly, let me find true love and the one for me.. the one who could love much more than i could ever love him.. let him know that i am in need of his love..<

Sunday, July 24, 2005 | 7:12 PM | 1 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

why oh why am i feeling this way again? reality has been slapping himself in my face.. i feel i'd lose my sanity.. i'm feeling down.. again.. been up thinking about stuff.. crying along with it.. even this morning.. woke up early.. hoping to talk to someone.. but wasn't available.. tears again fell.. then that was it..

my head hurts from all the thinking..

i wish i was 9 years old again.. having not much to think about or to worry.. not taking life seriously.. not sweating the hard stuff.. and could just laugh all my problems.. and not really care.. all i have to worry about would my toys.. when i would play with my playmates.. when it is time to me.. and when my parents would get me a new toy..

now, i'm got only one problem..

i'm not 9 years old anymore..

i'm 16..

still young to experience real life..

but old enough to handle it..

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 | 2:31 PM | 2 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

i am feeling down today.. so down.. had a hard sleeping last night.. there were times when i would just cry.. and think i cried myself to sleep.. life is hard.. i wanted to scream and shout so that i would not cry.. but that would mean i will have to wake up everyone.. and then they'd question why was i like that.. that would only irritate me more..

time is important now for me.. every minute.. every hour.. coz time is running out for me..

again, time is running out..

august is nearing.. which means the time for my departure is also nearing.. i'm scared.. i think i'm losing it..

i'm on the verge of tears now..

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

oh help me Lord.

Monday, July 18, 2005 | 2:21 PM | 3 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

times have been hard.. believe me.. my life for the past few months is.. like.. uhm... whoa... i don't even make sense.. but then.. i realized.. there's nothing i can do about it.. things have changed.. maybe i'm the one having the hardest time adjusting...

oh crap.

but hey.. life is like this..

all i got to do right now.. is move on.. let go.. start anew.. and maybe hey.. getta life.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005 | 3:39 PM | 2 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

i can't believe we are back where we started.. my gosh!

but only this time.. there are no more tears to be shed..

yeah.. it's true.. i can't cry no more..

all i can do now is pray...

coz there's no one to talk to... it's like i have some contagious disease and no one wants to talk to me... well, there's nothing i can do...
they are all busy...

i can't help but feel sad... really, really sad...

but hey...

who's gonna help me feel happy?

who's gonna wipe away all the tears on my face?

help, anyone?

oh i wish i could just disappear...

as if i never existed...

ever.

Saturday, July 02, 2005 | 12:01 AM | 2 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

Welcome to annakatt.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
-Crystal Middlemas-

P.S please leave COMMENTS for my entries, SHOUTOUTS in my tagboard and HUGS for me everytime you come visit. i would really appreciate it. thanks! muwah. ;D

Anakat
A.k.a. Nekatz, Anna, Kat
16/11/88
Math Goddess '05
Scorpio
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HOPELESS ROMANTIC
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Music Code here ;DD
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