Sunday, December 31, 2006 | 2:42 PM |
sprinklinq love Y
some quotes i got from the internet. so nice..It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry It feels like tomorrow I may not get by But I will try I will try Wipe the tears from my eyes.You know that I'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles I don't use excuses Don't ask why It's just a breakdown It happens all the time. Ever had one of those daysWhere you hate the world& Anything that happensEven dropping your penMakes you want to break down and cry?he gets her out of bed in the morning,drags her to school, pulls her through classes,brightens up her day, & doesn't even know he does it.if we were a movie,you'd be the right guy,and i'd be the best friendthat you fall in love with in the end. just once, i want to be someone's reason for waking up.someone's reason for going through another day.just one time, i want to be the one being wished for.i want to be the reason he says "i'm so lucky to have her" Maybe, just for one daywe could be togetherholding hands while walking around.making every girl jealousthat I got you by my side.Everytime she laughsShe hopes he's watchingNot so he sees that she's happybut that maybe, just maybeHe'll fall for her smileJust as hard as she fell for his
Thursday, December 28, 2006 | 11:13 AM |
sprinklinq love Y
my sentiments: longing for a shoulder to cry on.. longing for someone..anyone?
december 26, 2006NOTE: the article you're about to read has not really been thought through because everything just came out straight from my head with the tears causing me to write drama. it's best if you do not read it, it'll save you from so much sadness. STOP now please. but if you do decide to read on, i ask for only one thing. do not judge me solely based on this entry. there's a whole lot more to me than just this one-time feeling. please do not judge, just try to understand. thank you.
i tried to keep it all inside. i tried to hide it thinking this is nothing. that what i'm feeling is something that will just pass. oh was i wrong. i couldn't keep it in. i just had to let it out. so of course, i did burst into tears. i was crying non-stop for quite some time like a faucet, in my very own bathroom because it is the only place in our house i can be alone. alone to my thoughts and my tears. aside from crying, i decided to do what seems to be my outlet for all my pain, hurt and sadness. you can find my happiness in pictures. all the smiles, laughters and good times. i have decided too that i would only write this entry here and not in my multiply, myspace or friendster. coz i'm not sure if anyone's reading this. and of course, i don't want people who do not know me personally cast me as 'mababaw' or too sensitive, making a big deal of out nothing. i am merely writing all that has made me cry my heart out.
i am lonely. i want a shoulder to cry on. i need someone, anyone to listen to me. i know i am not alone. HE is listening. HE is there, here with me. and i'm sure HE knows how hard everything is for me. i should be grateful and i am. i can get anything i want, i get the chance to have a wonderful education, i know i have people waiting for me to return home. so why am i sad? why am i feeling so lonely, crying and writing all this down?
"kung gusto, maraming paraan"
such a cliche-ic thing to say. but for me this is true. i would do anything and everything for someone i love, for a friend, for family, even for him. is it a bad thing for me to want people to show that i mean something to them? is it such a bad thing to, once in a while, want someone to go out of their way despite their busy schedules just to make me smile and remind be that i am deeply missed most because of the distance apart? i am not bad person at all, right? i'm friendly, thoughful and caring. i'm also understanding and a good person. argh! is it a bad thing to want people to show me (rather remind me) that i am special to them, the way i show it to them? yeha i know, it's better to give than receive. and that it's the thought that counts. but what if thoughts weren't enough and that they were just in people's heads.
is it too much to ask if someone, just one person, to send me a card or a simple postcard as a reminder that i am not forgetten? i want someone, atleast one, to be able to stop whatever they maybe doing and think of me, even for just a minute. to wonder if i'm alright, if i'm happy or if anyone's taking care of me. sometimes i think what if i don't do anything to keeping touch with my friends, what will they do? will they try and and reach me? will they try to find me? or would it be that i may have just disappeared and no one will ever notice? i am jealous of those people in the same situation as me, far from friends and loved ones in a country that's new to them, and yet happy because they are reminded everyday that they are missed and their absence has made such a big differnce.
i'm not angry at my friends nor do i hold any grudges. maybe a little disappointed. but i understand. everyone has things that keep them busy. and certain things cost money. so i can't blame them for not trying. i'm just glad that everytime i reach out for them, they still reach for me as well. i hope they never get tired of holding on.i think i now know what really it is i want. i know that there are people waiting for my return. and i know this, for a fact. i guess, all i want is for people to remind me that i am missed. that i am needed. a reminder for me that i am loved and never will i be alone. that despite the distance, they will always be there for me. another thing is that i am scared. i am sometimes actually scared to go home. i'm scared that things would be different. i don't want to go home just to find out that i have nothing in common with my friends anymore or there are certain gaps in our relationship. i hate to be such a pessimist. but sometimes things like this happen, although i'm wishing it doesn't happen to me and my friends.so everything comes down to this.1) i want to be reminded that i am missed, loved but most of all, not forgetten by friends and loved ones.2) i am scared. scared that things would turn out for the worst. and that the reason for leaving was to lose everything that mattered to me. oh i hope not. (naku wag naman po sana!)3)and lastly, i do hope there is atleast one person reading this now, please don't judge me as someone too sensitive. think of me as someone going through a difficult and new stage in her life right now and is in badly need of a squeeze, a hug in a new world.like my friend said, i know this might sound trivial to whoever might read this but believe me when i say that it isn't to me. we all have our own different problems. for others, it may seem shallow but for that person, mabigat na yun. for now that's it, we'll see how this turns out.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 | 5:48 AM |
sprinklinq love Y
Monday, December 25, 2006 | 2:46 PM |
sprinklinq love Y
december 25, 2006okay. so it's officially past one, christmas day, london time. (it's past nine in the morning in the philippines) just finished eating with my family and now, i'm typing away here in my blog. to be honest, i'm not really thrilled. i'm still happy that it is in fact christmas. but somehow it just feels different. and you probably know why already.alot of firsts this season. the obvious ones of course are my first christmas abroad. my first christmas here in london. my first christmas far from friends and relatives. then there are those other firsts like first christmas with filipinos here. first christmas officially with someone.(although not physically of course) first christmas in winter. first christmas i'm actually thinking about time difference and all the sending of cards and calling home. argh, i could just go on and on to come up with some crazy first.but it's really nice to know that people here also celebrate christmas eve and the whole christmas season. with their pine trees and gifts. i wonder what new year would be like here. hmmm..christmas will always be christmas. no matter where you are in this world. i'm just glad that i'm not alone. coz i have my family. atleast i don't have to be all alone, giving a toast to myself. one thing i've learned is that you have to know how to make the best out of everyday. only then would you be able look forward to tomorrow, as well as to that day where you would be exactly where you want to be, happy and content.merry christmas everyone!! hope you would enjoy today like i will.
| 1:42 AM |
sprinklinq love Y
something to learn
I've learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you're only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned that ignoring the facts do not change the fact.
I've learned that the easiest way to grow as a person is to surround yourself with people smarter than you are.
And i've learned that life is tough, but you can be tougher.
Saturday, December 23, 2006 | 1:02 PM |
sprinklinq love Y
my first christmas
dec16, 2006wow, i can't believe it's christmas already. then it would be new year. six months has passed since i left pinas. so many has changed. somehow i am getting used to life here. but at the beginning, it's been really hard for me. there were times i couldn't stop my tears and i would hide in the bathroom just so they wouldn't see me cry. there were also certain decisions i had to make over that six months. and lots of questions i ask myself why i end up here. all that's in the past now. i'm beginning to love it here. (though of course, i still want to go home to pinas.) the best thing i love about living abroad is that i can actually get anything i want here. haha. i am just simply making the best out of life here.
2007 seems so close now. a year has passed. naku. looking back now, it has been such a crazy year. moving, changing, making decisions, adjusting and all the different things i've been through.
during the first night of simbang-gabi, UK version, i can't help but remember last year's simbang-gabi. i'm so proud of the fact that i completed all nine dawn masses!! so of course, i made this wish. but i ain't sure if it did come true. there's something that happened but i can't exactly say that my wish came true. hopefully. christmas here is ALOT different. you don't really hear any carolers. although there is alot of christmas parties here and there. there is simbang gabi. except that it is spent during the evenings from dec15-23. you should smell the pine trees that they sell for christmas trees. ooh, it would really remind you that christmas is nearing.
hay, i just love christmas no matter where i am. yeah, it's sad that i don't get to celebrate it with my friends or him. but they would certainly be in my thoughts. of course i would be keeping in touch. my christmas wish this year would be uhm.. oh, i wish that all my relationships[with friends and family and everyone else] deepen over the years despite the distance. i do wish that i could also go home next year. i super miss pinas already. and of course, there's this other wish but it's gonna be my secret. i do hope it comes true. i'll be keeping fingers crossed. looking ahead to the year 2007, i hope for more blessings and i know it's gonna be another insanely crazy year.
to all my friends, i miss you guys soo much and i also love you guys soo much. wish you all the best this christmas season and let's toast to a new year! see you soon!! and to everyone reading this, happy holidays!!
Saturday, December 16, 2006 | 2:42 PM |
sprinklinq love Y
Welcome to annakatt.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
P.S please leave COMMENTS for my entries, SHOUTOUTS in my tagboard and HUGS for me everytime you come visit. i would really appreciate it. thanks! muwah. ;D
A.k.a. Nekatz, Anna, Kat
Math Goddess '05
"in a relationship"
plane ticket to Philippines
ost the parent trap
trip to bora, cebu & puerto
to meet hale!(plus spongecola,bamboo)
go on a cruise
travel the world
more and more friends
to be successful & famous
to be influential & touch lives
kids and family (someday)
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Music web: iwebmusic