October 21, 06

lately i've been thinking about what you said. all i can tell you right now is i'm happy with my decision. i know we've talked about this so many times before and said so many things. but then i had to take it back. i want to give him another chance. even if it means i'm being stupid.

i know you're disappointed. (so are others) but please understand that i'm not as strong as when we used to talk about it. no matter how many times i try or how hard i try, i just can't forget. i keep coming back to it. i value your honesty in telling me the truth about how you feel.

i'm really thankful for you. because you've been there when i needed someone the most. because you are one of the people who has influenced me and taught me some things i now know. but i feel i need to do this. i just can't explain why. you're the one who told me that things happen for a reason. but i don't yet what the reason is for this. but i hope it's not losing you.

don't worry too much that i'd end up just getting hurt and having my heart broken. again. coz that's what seems to always happen to me. this time, i'm not scared that what if tomorrow he decides to break up with me. because if ever that happens, i have the time and space i'd need to really move on. and if this time it doesn't work again, then it isn't really meant to be. [at di ko na ipagpipilitan pa] one thing i'm really scared of though is that i may lose you as a friend. (and the others as well)

yes, i know. i'm really stupid and very crazy to try again. but i just don't want to be stupid and lose you altogether. you're very important to me and i really hope you'll understand. i'm happy with him right now and the decision i made. but i can't be completely and truly happy if you're not cool with it. it would mean so much to me. but i do understand if you can't.
i'm really sorry. hope i could make up for it. or maybe we could come up with something to make this work. i'm sorry.

Saturday, October 21, 2006 | 12:06 PM | 0 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

october 19, 06

how do you make decisions in your life?

there are so many decisions we must make in this world. so many choices to choose from. so many mistakes to make and learn from.

which one would you follow: your intuition, your mind or your heart?

people sometimes act on impulse, on intuition. they make a decision because of a gut feeling. they're not even sure why they made that choice. they just think it's possibly right. other people choose to follow their minds because it usually sees the reality of life. they say we should listen to our mind instead of following our heart. that's why the mind is above the heart. some people choose to listen to their heart. because sometimes the heart knows best. people decide because of passion.

so do you choose what is supposed to be the right thing to do or follow your feelings even if it is wrong? would you take the risk, knowing what the consequences are?

doing the right thing doesn't guarantee that you wouldn't feel any pain. it normally means sacrificing things that mean alot to you. it's just one of the consequences that is possible to happen.

in the end, how do you if you've made the right decision? or if it's something you're not going to regret?

recently, i made a decision out of impulse and passion. in other words, i decided to go with my heart inside of listening to my mind. my mind tells me it's a very stupid thing to do. but then, it's just feels so right. i took the risk again. like i have always have. stupid, yeah i know. but then i am happy. [just don't argue with me now that for how long will this last]

not everyone will agree with what i did. others would just say it's ok, just for me. i can't please everyone and i know some will be really disappointed. [and already are] it's just so hard trying not to lose everyone who matters to me so much. i'm so far away and i'm dealing with this. i have to. it's so damn harder dealing with this and being so far away.

i need clarity right now. everything seems so blurred. i need someone who i can talk to right now. to just listen and then comfort me. i want to cry and lean on someone's shoulder and get a nice big hug. if you could only see now, you wouldn't see any signs of confusion or sadness. you will only be seeing me smile and laugh. as if everything's just fine. when it really isn't.

by the way, to those reading this who would perceive me right now as some what dramatic and all this being too much drama, i'm really sorry because in reality, i'm no drama queen at all. i just need to let it all out. all the pain-hurt-agony-sorrow-sadness-anger-misery-whatever you name it that life brings. it's better than crying or shouting or screaming. this is quiet. and best of all, it works for me.

Thursday, October 19, 2006 | 12:02 PM | 0 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

October 1 - 10:28pm

it's raining again. as i hold my umbrella and look around, i can't help but think about stuff. stuff concerning things in the past, things happening now and looking ahead to what could be. i've got myself thinking if i made the right decisions. i don't want to live my life in regrets, let alone wondering what could have been.

i'm scared and really terrified. i'm scared of losing everything because of a wrong choice. oh please don't let this be the wrong choice.

i don't want you to choose me just because i'm the safe option. i don't want you to choose me because i've never left you in the past. i don't want you to choose me just because i've always been here.

i want you to choose me not because you need me but that you really want me. i want you to choose beacuse there simply is no one else. i want you to choose me because there simply is no other choice.

and i chose you not because i can't live without you. oh i can leave without you but i choose not to.

Sunday, October 01, 2006 | 10:28 PM | 0 comments ;
sprinklinq love Y

Welcome to annakatt.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
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Anakat
A.k.a. Nekatz, Anna, Kat
16/11/88
Math Goddess '05
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